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Although the data shows this advice holds true for both sexes, it’s mostly directed at guys, because they are way more likely to talk about looks.
You might think that words like are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them.
We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.
Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.
It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. But either way: men should be careful not to let the appearance of vulnerability become the appearance of sweaty desperation: , 23%)!
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We know that’s going to piss a lot of people off, and we’re more or less tongue-in-cheek with this advice, but it’s what the numbers say.
does help a person get noticed (reply rate 56%), but maybe that shouldn’t be a surprise on a site that is itself named for a member of the Classical pantheon.
On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.